direction and rejection

For me, there are endless ways to get there. I tell myself all the time when considering a project in the works. These things take time and sometimes its better to staple it to the wall and walk away. One day, as I sat in a silly gazebo in the center of a town peddling what I call "art", a woman walked up into the gazebo, looked around and said... "I heard that there was supposed to be an artist here today." I spoke up that I was the artist and pointed out some of my works. She made some comment akin to how small my pieces were and stomped off... as though I were not a true artist... and actually that day I had sold a lot more than in the past. She left after shredding me to dust... even though that day I had sold more pieces than I have before or since... that comment hit me in the gut. Some days you question why you ever bother at all... and yet another show... I was much younger and less sure of myself and yet again peddling my little drawings... when another woman took one look at my pieces and called them "evil" and walked away. At the time I thought it was cool... kinda interesting to get that reaction but as I got older it ate away at the periphery of my confidence. At the time I laughed it off... years later I didn't find myself laughing so much. I have to find an audience that I know is never there... it drains my energy and kills my will.... however lately I'm daring to turn it on it's head. I want to escape further into the creative process. So suddenly I'm thinking myself into art. I'm convincing myself I can do it regardless of my size or subject. I've peeled away a lot of the negativity that hampered my progression. So here it is. Another day... an entirely new direction.