surreal feel

within each new experience there is a new space for growth. I have found within my new studio a calling I never knew I had... to bring people together to work artistically. I found art relatively early in life. I never had to worry after that. I wasn't alone. I believe it is within everyone's grasp. I feel the space telling me the goal is to share. To see them sitting there has helped my psyche. The space is allowing things to happen and grow. My art watches while I sleep. It guards and protects. Surrounding spirits of those I've known. I have brought spirits through my art as well as allowed others to find themselves within the art spiritually. It goes on in circles. I don't let it end with one singular definition. My father visited me in a painting. My husband left his mark. My flame fire spire absorbed my canvas and from a wilted photograph, Lucille looked at me with my eyes, my face, my hair. I must've run around before not long ago... and found myself back here after meeting death five years after school. The dead are the stones of my foundation and do burst forth from my pen again and again. Keep your eyes keen on this thinning veil. You will see through moonlight and mist the deepening essence of those around us. ~ k (penh) w

and in the routes leading in each direction

Deciding to be a person of action is difficult. I've found my mind seeing these things intensely. Vivid pictures of places and people.. .of stories. Whether or not I adhere to the rules... I've found a break and want to go for it. But where to go? The arrow points in each direction. Tells me which way leads where... but no warning of the ditches. We've seen these ways our entire lives but haven't searched them through. Haven't come back to talk of the war of activity. Why does it take me so long to move from this squeaky chair everyday? I guess I'm rooted to the spot of myself. Unable to unhinge my brain from my want of things... to do things. I'm going to try to be it and not wish it to be. I don't like flying stars overhead because I long to hitch a ride on one. At least see it closer... or feel a real orbit. So my head is my freedom and my cage. I can't seem to escape it. Once upon a time I felt I had a place... it seems that place has been rearranged and set for someone else.... like they invited me to tea and then decided I should sit on the floor. I don't mind. I haven't the mind for talking their small talk. I like tea in any old chair... in any old place. It seems my fountains are running and my hands aren't working fast enough. The cup will overflow again and those friends and faces will wash away over the silt. I'll rummage around for it... the little snap bean. I'm searching for it still. My inner curmudgeon... desperate to find herself a lovely spot on a current or wave. She wants to curl inside the pod... for a greedy feast of ideas.

Tru's 'schnitte!

Working on a scherenschnitte piece for cousin Tru! Scherenschnitte is the art of cutting paper and although the piece she wanted from the website was unavailable, I was able to produce a similar piece that she's pretty excited about. I am very happy to be moving the image. Especially to such a talented artist herself! Thanks Tru!

Projection of Opinion

Here we reach an uncomfortable place in which we place on the wall a picture. Then the crowd leans in and begins to verbally rip and tear the image to shreads disregarding it's place. I found, my first year in art school, this to be the most barbaric of acts against the artist and the piece presented. The "wall" was but a peg board. The "critics" a bunch of students. The room, a simple concrete classroom, nothing more. I found this place empty of knowledge, void of depth and increasingly anti-art. I left the department, even with a professor hounding me across campus. It's only mid-term. You could pass this class. Did I really want to "pass"? I would have rather failed it. So I dropped it. I dropped the entire department and moved on. It wasn't working, I walked away. I met Jacey that year. I remembered Jacey because she had the same earrings and was incredibly talented. I never found out what happened to her but I wished her the best. She deserved it. Remember your feet when faced with critics. What do they really know? These so-called experts of the aesthetic. They go by formula. Art is not formulaic. If it is, it's not art. I would rather exist on the periphery of this thing we call art than suffer formula, acceptance by a conditioned crowd or passing a class. This is your life hanging on the wall. How do you judge it? How do you critique it? The lines and colors, the days and the experiences. The texture, the inspiration. No, I'd rather exist completely outside of art than deal with this. I sat across from Karenina, drawing her as she drew me. Her drawing was delicate and wonderful, mine looked a little flat. Karenina smiled. She took the picture and we swapped movies. Her Santa Sangre vs. my Nosferatu. I must say I enjoyed Santa Sangre as much as anything. I sat alone watching it and wishing it were yet another existence. I suddenly wanted to jump into that film or into her drawing. Another connection made, another memory added, yet another lovely venture into art and the making. I was cradled from beginning to end by the memories of sweet faces and working hands. This is th e way I wish to remember it. The impression. Bringing any critique from the land of the lost I will say that another artist recommended "one color". I choose them all.

co-create

As it seems the shapes will change in front of my open eyes and move to something recognizable. Then the shapes will change and the hands will move. The image becomes obvious, the path clear. I have found a new direction a million times over and it never wants to stop. I enjoy these journeys. A million journeys a month into oblivion, pulling out by the hair in a rather neanderthal scene an image from my psyche. Then the delicate dance of creation begins. Popping the pages with razor sharp edges. Crystallizing the air. This is my little creation dance. My fire dance within that abyss. Tools work, hands move and suddenly a face emerges. Hello to you friend! Where have you been? Well these things would tell me their story had they the time, but mostly they choose to move within their own realm leaving me in mystery for some time before the break in the dam begins again. Movement. I detect movement just up ahead. Running like blood, the pen acting as a hatchet carving out the space, the ink gushes. Hold it up and move again. It won't be happy until it's unleashed on the page.

thoughtz

Wild Berry zinger, Peppermint, lemon, stripes and origami, polka dots, swirls and curlicues, zebras, fan dango, elephant blue. Artistic maze, labyrinth styles and stilettos. cosmo mama ivy, cinnamon and plums. Nook and cranny. Like to be a granny. spindles, tendrils, sea green and orange. In the night kitchen, mommy? Dishes make me feel fun when I'm with Curty.

the Eagles have landed!

Check out this unique view of a bald eagle's nest. It's located in Virginia. I tried checking it out at night and realized it would be dark... so daylight for me is the best viewing time for online.
http://www.wvec.com/marketplace/microsite-content/eagle-cam.html

image recall

As I study and buckle down seriously in my reading endeavors, I am thrust into images and places where my visualist is constantly taking notes. I have met new characters in pen and ink, acrylic and polymer as I pass over the endless words of inspiration. There is indeed no place like home because for me home is my library, my studio and my writer's desk. Home is my dream place and my cradle. My mind wanders home. My hands wish to create that which congeals in my minds eye. These things I had felt were separate entities are indeed cast from the same well of inspiration. They are connected functions that depend on eachother. I find this limitless space where creation is possible and although I sometimes stand on the porch wondering how to get in, I then have access through an open window. The seasons and natural cycle and wheel of time affect the creative process as well. These readings come to me as buds of a tree, inspired by the season from which they burst. I deliberate over the choice of those to take, to ingest and to use for inspired creation. The world within flourishes as it mirrors the world without.

Building Momentum

Firing up all engines in the art output stage I have also delved into that ever-elusive area of my artwork - presentation. I finally have a website all my own and this makes me very excited, nervous and overwhelmed. www.penhooligan.com
I am currently working on five different aspects to be represented on my site: photopaint photography, polymer clay, acrylic paintings, scherenschnitte and pen and ink drawing. I appreciate any and all feedback/critiques as they will help me use this platform more efficiently and effectively. I do not look to sell online as of now but I am using this site as a gallery to bring my work into the open. Also if a party is interested, I am more than willing on working on a meeting place to be able to physically show the art. I am also happy to be announcing movement of the artwork. I am hoping on bringing two large-scale, framed pen and ink drawings a piece to two different galleries and pushing that showing on my site along with the other artists in the area. On the backburner-for now-are the cards and prints I wish to produce. So now the creative crazies are flowing and my mind is exploding with different ways to go, which in the past has always been my downfall, but lately I am finding a path in the dense forest of my thoughts.

fortune faces

So the faces of the artworks are always coming and going under my pen or brush or hands... the immoveable objects of internal strife and struggle are always there. I find that it is strange in a way to delve into these things artistically however lately I'm comfortable with the thought of being able to work these things in. Some faces I learn to manipulate... if they are for hatred or pain, I work them to the opposite side, trying to improve my life and my images and my expression. Hopefully this will reverse the negative aspects of myself. The creative output being a ritual for change.

my own personal legion

Lately it seems that with my own personal growth and exploration I have found more friends on the inside. What do I mean by "on the inside"? Well they are all in my mind. These friends span history and speak to me on different levels and are currently helping me piece together my own personal art story. For me this is more than an act of hands, it's a belief or a religious path I feel I'm following. The entire time that's the way it's been. I just needed to take it seriously which I always had a hard time doing. Now I have friends, don't misunderstand. I really haven't been "alone" per se but with life comes times of feeling lonely no matter how many friends we actually have and sometimes it's about appreciating those around us or seeing how we've taken these relationships for granted. Art has always been a friend and I'm learning on a deeper level than ever before. I have realized I make relationships with the images and internalize them. They affect me on an emotional level. They have become my "friends". They reveal to me truths about myself... some truths I couldn't find on my own or weren't obvious. Certain past artists do this for me as well. I feel as though I am digging in my quest and so I'm finding more and more. These artists come and go. They tell their story and suddenly I can visit it. This has made my own art story more enjoyable. I am able to find endless advice from centuries of voices. This is a powerful thing.

direction and rejection

For me, there are endless ways to get there. I tell myself all the time when considering a project in the works. These things take time and sometimes its better to staple it to the wall and walk away. One day, as I sat in a silly gazebo in the center of a town peddling what I call "art", a woman walked up into the gazebo, looked around and said... "I heard that there was supposed to be an artist here today." I spoke up that I was the artist and pointed out some of my works. She made some comment akin to how small my pieces were and stomped off... as though I were not a true artist... and actually that day I had sold a lot more than in the past. She left after shredding me to dust... even though that day I had sold more pieces than I have before or since... that comment hit me in the gut. Some days you question why you ever bother at all... and yet another show... I was much younger and less sure of myself and yet again peddling my little drawings... when another woman took one look at my pieces and called them "evil" and walked away. At the time I thought it was cool... kinda interesting to get that reaction but as I got older it ate away at the periphery of my confidence. At the time I laughed it off... years later I didn't find myself laughing so much. I have to find an audience that I know is never there... it drains my energy and kills my will.... however lately I'm daring to turn it on it's head. I want to escape further into the creative process. So suddenly I'm thinking myself into art. I'm convincing myself I can do it regardless of my size or subject. I've peeled away a lot of the negativity that hampered my progression. So here it is. Another day... an entirely new direction.

angel

Angel came to me whilst I was in a very dark mindset. I kept thinking that perhaps I was going to be down for a long time and so the marination began. Emotions sink into the psyche and out the hand comes a wellspring of sorrow. These angels began a few months back in my attempt to bring acceptable and recognizable imagery into my works. It's not that I had aim to please, it was more for charity. And I wanted the work to reflect what people would feel comfortable with besides monsters, chimeras, fantastical plantlife, etc. My creativity takes hold and sometimes I'm in a world so fargone that people are left scratching their heads when I dare to give them a peak. No she's not this particular angel. This one hangs on my mum's wall. Finished as it not is here. But she is part of a triquetra of angelic images. Each alone. I admit that most my pieces these days are very lonely. Perhaps they reflect my feelings for the bleached stone gray skies of late winter. I sometimes wish to disappear into the gray mist, then other days I wish to dance in the sun.

the crew

people affect art on different levels. People will inform a piece. A conversation or a persona can inspire the very ink to flow... the paint to collide. I was inspired by many people in my art adventures and even incorporated them into the piece. This is not about me because I don't feel the insides are truly owned. The spirit is constant and everywhere and can encompass many things. Family and friends will see you for who you are, not who you see. Sometimes we are incredibly critical of ourselves. It is wonderful to have the support and care from those who love you.

timepiece

I enjoy working through various themes from the past whether they are sparked from book reading or personal experiences. Art can create an atmosphere for real escape and so it makes sense to escape into a time or place one loves. A lot of people find comfort in recreating a different country or replacating the feel of a place. My own inner snapshots provide a lot of resources when considering what I want to do. I take images from life or reading or film and internalize the image and idea for use at a later date. I enjoy the overall feel of a piece of art but it does come from one thing or another.

textures

Textures are a huge part of my art adventures. I am consumed by simple textures at times and then other times I'm driven to craziness by complicated webs or ripple effects. I am sure I am not the first to find these things entrancing. Textures can really set off your image or your background, whatever area of a piece of artwork you are trying to explode. I use "explode" as meaning set off from everything else. I love art that explodes. I am drawn to artist Marc Chagall for this very reason. His use of color creates a kind of crazy web or texture throughout his pieces. I could find stories hidden under every brush stroke if I had the opportunity. Pen and ink artists use texture very differently. Chiaroscuro (sp?) dark and light. Or cross-hatching with the pen. Moving the pen horizontally and then vertically and then not so horizontally and not so vertically and moving it moving it until you are caught in webs of crazy ink. I like the intricate lines used by one of my favorite artists Albrecht Durer. His use of texture makes me eek out loud. Sometimes they can be stark and other times very warm and inviting.

Textures can be found all around us and can inspire use of them superimposed on other images or objects we wish to conjure. A mad map of texture would love my walls for sure.

the round canvas

Canvas (traditional stretch) comes in many different sizes and shapes. Recently I acquired a round canvas with some other art materials and have discovered that canvas shape and size affects what image I will want to use, the design and also the materials for the piece. I am not always patient with regard to the development of a piece and I find that patience is worth the wait. The planning stage of a piece of artwork should begin with various sketches and reworks. As with writing, there may be many different versions of the same piece. John William Waterhouse's Mermaid seems to have undergone a few different versions before reaching it's vision.

tattoo in blue

I have found that my commitment to art has been up in the air at times. Tattoos are interesting artforms that require a huge commitment on the part of the wearer and the artist. Your body becomes a permanent canvas. I never made the decision to get a tattoo however I have seen some amazing stuff. I had an idea for a spiritual compass of sorts for my skin but never was able to follow through. My sister is a huge tattoo fan and did a little painting of my own for me on my arm. Once I saw the size (size is important when considering a tattoo) I was certain I wouldn't want it on my skin permanently. For a tattooist to get all of the details they normally like to create larger pieces. My hope is that I can find such an artist who can work on a smaller scale so that I can get the effect of ink I have in mind.

searching for spark

there are many respectable mediums to use when planning a piece. I prefer to consider that everything is a possible material and from that attitude, I have come up with some fun stuff. Recycling objects into art is nothing new however it is always fun to find your own way of using different objects. I had a massive amount of catalogs lying about and used them in a show. I called it Recycled Spirit and all of the pieces were created out of the catalogs. And taking this attitude to the extreme I began to use human bodies, in particular, faces as canvas for my outdoor adventures in photography. It is important to remember everything is a material. Sounds simple but if you look around you will find that suddenly art and the creative process becomes endless. I can not help myself. I have found the most mundane objects engrossing. In this way we are able to vivify the art and bring it home in a unique way.

works for 2010 the nameless unless you meet her

I want to introduce the beginning of what I call works for 2010. I am currently working on a catalog and portfolio. All previous works will be collected and various stories written for the benefit of the piece.

down and done

Sometimes it is hard to see around the immediate and focus on the task at hand. I find that when I encounter a block, particularly in relation to creativity, it is best to work from inside what I like and "flip it" in my mind. Sometimes I am rather lazy when it comes to my approach and I have a lot of techniques still to learn. I have made the decision that this is something I like to do for myself. I am not competing for a prize. I am not worrying about how it appears to others. I am out to have some fun and adventure through art. That is my only concern. And I guess I would like to see how far I can get with regard to my skill level. I have seen phenomenal work that has blown me away. I know I am not that person but I like to think I come at it with some honest motivation. I want to work and when it becomes a consuming thing, to sit and work, you know you are hooked. There are many hours and days to work on how I can bring certain visions to reality. For now the investigation of materials and subject is my goal. This is something I have done for a very long time and the difference between the then and the now is huge. If you feel you can not do something... try it anyway. I like to think that art expression is a part of all people. And some will say I am a big sap... so be it. In love with Jasper Johns "Target with Four Faces"... I think that's it's name.

the Serpent

From the beginning of certain works I have come with the idea that specific images will conjure specific thoughts from people. In my self-schooling, I have found that the serpent is an interesting subject from Christianity and from the studies of ancient Egypt. I have chosen the serpent to represent my first 2010 work. The work itself is less that of an actual serpent and is more abstract in it's dealing of it. The central image is a mermaid. The object is to create a home for the central character and expand on this image. Photo of the home & hearth witch... creating her hearth, coming to terms with her home.

works for 2010

This year I have suffered a creative drought until this weekend. Last year was rough on me for several reasons and the roughness affected my ability to access my private portals of creativity and allow the flow of emotions. I have often thought I would write about the process for the entertainment and possible helpfulness to others however I have decided this may not be the wisest decision for a struggling artist and writer such as myself. I am taking the advice of a beloved author. I am protecting my ideas. This does not mean I can not share some of what I experience through the creative process and through life. Both can be trying at times however it is through the perseverence that we ultimately prevail in our vision and also in ourselves.